i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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