oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize