I didn't shave. On purpose
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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