Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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