Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
