I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
