In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
