If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
