Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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