69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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