and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
