Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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