Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
