i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
