remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
