Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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