Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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