id be glad to
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
