Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
