I need help removing her.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
