Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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