i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
