I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
