Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
