We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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