I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
