am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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