wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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