I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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