me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
