She announced her abortion via fbk
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
