Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
