did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
