A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i believe in u and ur pee
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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