I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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