Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize