so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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