we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
