So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
