My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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