M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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