is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
