Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
