high people should be assigned attendants
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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