so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize