I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
