It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
