how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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