Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
now i know why i became what i already was.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm at about main and main street
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize