I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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