I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
