Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
