So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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