Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
