I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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