Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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