i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
