And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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