Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I wear drunk well.
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