I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
