..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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