In the future we'll all be gay
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
